....It's The Lil' Things That Make Life Sweet....

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

Somedays you just sit around and reflect on life. What have you done, how things are, what have you achieved and what have you not. While sometimes you may smile victoriously feeling glad about how well life has been treating you, sometimes you just don't get that lucky. Sometimes you wonder if all that happened was a mistake. The words spoken, the thoughts thought or even the lil gestures made. It sucks so bad to be wrong. It's the worst feeling on earth. But what's done is done and there's no turning back.

I hate myself sometimes. For always poking into people's business. For always wanting to know. Sometimes I ask myself, will I die not knowing? Why must it bother me so much? Why must I meddle with everything? What's make me think I can help when sometimes all I do is the direct opposite. Sometimes I really don't know what to do. I'm out of ideas already. I can't stand those around me feeling miserable. It makes me feels the same. So I try to help fix things, so that they'll be happy, hoping that their happiness would make me happy too. Am I being selfish? To try to gain happiness out of the happiness of others. If that's the case then I guess no harm done. But what if what I do backfires? How I wish I can shut up sometimes. Keep my mouth and my words only to myself. Save others from me. I have no others words except I'm so sorry.

I feel so lost sometimes. Like I'm the last person standing with no one by my side. When everything I do gets back at me. When all that I feel turns out to be just a bunch of lies. When the people I care about most change and turn their backs on me slamming the doors to their life in my face. I'm so afraid of that day. The day when I'll be the last one standing in my own world.

Things just can't stay the same. It's ever changing and ever moving. You may feel so close to it today and tomorrow you can no longer have it. Insecurity causes so much problems. Unnecessary thoughts, silly feelings, hurtful words and horrible images.

Sometimes you wish you can say what you want to say without thinking twice. But then that will always result in disasters. Next time I'm gonna keep my feelings to myself. Everyone will be happier that way. Sometimes, ignorance is bliss.

I live in an ideal world I make up my own. Nothing is ideal. Learn to live with it.

melia signed out with love @ 8:55 PM (1) earthling(s) farted

Comments:

So true! Normal to feel that way once in a while. I guess I better shuddup and not to say so much about it, U should know better what's good for you, if u need an ear, i'm always here kays.

I'm sorry I've said something that had offended you tpday, I didn't mean to say that, just accidentally blurted out. No hard feelins' kays?

wanna tell u just one more thing, don't put all the blame onto urself and dun even feel bad about it, you are just tryin to help after all. Ok, i'll see ya tml, sth nice for u to see...tata~!

SY-spazzy

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Anonymous : 10:52 PM

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..What About Amelia?..

Because this blog needs an introduction
Here goes!

I'm 40% mature, 30% child-like
10% fashionista, 8% dork
6% klutzy, 3% dreamer
2% blur, 1% hero x)

I also want to marry John Mayer
And oh, I want a pet unicorn too x)

More self-absorbed information here!!

..Mood-o-meter..