....It's The Lil' Things That Make Life Sweet....

Monday, May 04, 2009

My brain hurts.

Because I have been thinking too much. Usually it starts with something simple, like what do I feel like having for brunch tomorrow. Bacon. Wanton Mee. Roti Canai. Then I'll start thinking about the things I can do with my day. Then I'll realise that I haven't much to do. Then I'll start reflecting upon my life, the many issues that plague it. And there are many many many issues one you start digging them up. Upon digging up these issues, I'll get overwhelmed and want to talk to someone. But oh crap, it's 4am in the morning, no one is awake. And then I cry. After wiping away all my facial mucus and snot, I go to sleep.

Rinse and repeat.

You see, life isn't a bitch. We are. Yes, we are all bitches because we're constantly bitching.

Take me for an example. Few months ago, I was depressed and sad and felt like the biggest failure on earth. It was all "Oh woe, woe is me! I have no options because I suck". So I sit in a corner and cry. Stay under the sheets until my legs become so hairy, I'm a man.

And after all that, I find out that I do have options, that I don't suck that bad. I should be pretty darn happy right? The world should be all rainbows and sunshines and ponies and care bears right? But nooo. It's "Oh woe, woe is me! I have too many options, I don't know what to do! This sucks".

Someone should smack the bejesus out of me.

This shows that nothing is easy. Nothing.

If my life is the way it was a year ago, making this decision might be a lot easier. Things were different then. I didn't have so much to consider. I didn't want so many things. Well, there weren't many for me to want in the first place. :P I had a different mindset. Different goals. A different vision of what my future would be like.

But now, there are so many more elements in my life. My future looks a little different now. Actually it looks REALLY different. -____- So different that the old me would have a heart attack.

This is so very hard though. I want what I want but yet I still want to stay true to myself. I'm trying to look at the bigger picture but heck, I don't even know which big picture I should look at. I have TWO dammit.

WHICH ONE?!?! Ya Allah, help me.

I need to make a pro/con list.

But something tells me I've made up my mind.

Btw I'm having chocolate cake. :D

melia signed out with love @ 7:30 PM (0) earthling(s) farted

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..What About Amelia?..

Because this blog needs an introduction
Here goes!

I'm 40% mature, 30% child-like
10% fashionista, 8% dork
6% klutzy, 3% dreamer
2% blur, 1% hero x)

I also want to marry John Mayer
And oh, I want a pet unicorn too x)

More self-absorbed information here!!

..Mood-o-meter..